Loneliness is a common feeling for entrepreneurs, but you CAN overcome it — and I’m going to show you how.
If you’re a business owner, you already know that entrepreneurship can feel very isolating. You may feel overwhelmed, even if you have a team to help you, and think that no one understands what you’re going through or how hard your situation is.
While it’s important to feel and honor your feelings, you don’t want to get trapped in a negative headspace and spiral into despair (been there, done that — don’t recommend).
In this article, I’m sharing four tips to help you pull yourself out of a lonely, dark place and connect with others so you can feel the support you deserve.
Let’s get started:
Step 1: Change Your Self-Talk
It’s easy to get stuck in negativity, especially when your thoughts are primarily focused on what's going wrong or what could be going better. It’s critical to realize that after a certain point, you are choosing to stay in a negative mindset and continuing to paint yourself as the victim in your story — and that’s doing you no favors.
To combat this, change your self-talk and mentally reframe situations that don’t go your way. For example, let’s say a client decides they no longer want to work with you. That may initially feel disappointing, but you can flip the script and turn this into a growth opportunity. Ask yourself questions like:
- How can I use the time that’s been freed up to grow my business?
- What can I do right now to connect with a new client who will love the work I do?
- What’s my next step for finding new, exciting opportunities that I align with?
Ultimately, you MUST be resilient if you want to make it as an entrepreneur. Changing your self-talk to be more positive and less negative will improve your mood and overall outlook while also putting you in the right headspace to attract success.
Step 2: Ask Yourself How Your Feelings and Beliefs Serve You
Maybe you’ve felt alone on your entrepreneurial journey for a long time and that feeling of loneliness has become comfortable for you — even though it’s not how you truly want to feel. Ask yourself how feeling unsupported (and believing that you are unsupported) is serving you, and be honest with yourself. For example, feeling alone and isolated may have become a way to keep yourself safe from having to open up to others, which may seem scary to you.
In my case, I want to be strong and do everything on my own because I don’t want to be viewed as weak, but that’s a perfect recipe for loneliness. I’ve realized that way of thinking does not serve me at all and keeps me in a place of victimhood, so I’ve had to learn to call in help. It hasn’t been easy — vulnerability can be incredibly tough, after all — but it has been worth it.
Once you have identified your own limiting beliefs around asking for help or support, ask yourself:
- Who taught you that you have to do everything on your own?
- Is it true that doing things alone is the best way to get where you want to go, or could there be a better way?
- How would it serve you to let go of this DIY mindset and embrace support?
Remember: There is nothing wrong with showing weakness or softness. Whether it’s paid help, familial support, or friends lending you a hand, it’s perfectly fine (and healthy) to call in support.
Step 3: Involve People in How You Feel
It’s impossible to feel supported if you don’t let people in. Others may have no idea you’re struggling or need help, so don’t assume people know what’s going on — unless you’ve told them, they are probably oblivious.
To cultivate meaningful relationships with people and feel less alone, you must open up and involve people in how you feel. Sharing your true feelings and the reality of your situation gives people the ability to show up for you and support you in the ways you need, and when you feel seen, heard, and understood, it’s very hard to feel lonely.
I put this into practice with my team, business partner, family, and friends so they can have context for my behavior and understand where I’m coming from, especially during challenging times. For example:
- I tell my team when I’m feeling stressed so they can understand why I may be more on edge than I usually am.
- I communicate with my business partner, Jessica, with whom I run Alfavrouwen, when I’m stuck or struggling with a problem so we have the opportunity to overcome it together.
- I share my hard times with my family and friends so they know I may need extra support, whether that’s phone calls, texts, or spending time together in person.
The takeaway: Letting people in is essential for combatting loneliness.
Step 4: Ask for Support
Don’t be shy. Reach out and directly ask for support when you need it — it’s that simple.
You cannot control whether or not someone actually gives you that support, but you CAN control your own actions. The truth is, you are unlikely to get what you need without asking for it, so speak up.
Your willingness to ask for help may help embolden someone you care about to seek support, too. If you’re always showing up as the “strong one,” they may not feel comfortable revealing their softer side because they’ve never seen yours. Just imagine how much better your relationships would be and how much more connected you’d feel if you let your walls down, and use that as fuel to open up — even when it’s intimidating or unnerving.
Humans are wired to care for one another — lean into that and know that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. Instead, your ability to be authentic, honest, and vulnerable is part of what makes you strong.
I hope you’ve found these four steps helpful! I’ve included a quick recap below so you can screenshot this article and bring it along as you move forward with combatting loneliness and calling in more support as an entrepreneur.
Step 1: Change Your Self-Talk
Step 2: Ask Yourself How Your Feelings and Beliefs Serve You
Step 3: Involve People in How You Feel
Step 4: Ask for Support
Watch this episode on YouTube or listen via iTunes, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts, and search for episode 124 of The FastForwardAmy Show.
PS: Need more support in changing your self-talk and overcoming your limiting beliefs? Download my FREE Belief Book to work through your fear of failure, imposter syndrome, and other issues that may be holding you back.
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