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10 Lessons That Took Me 10 Years to Learn (And Could Save You a Decade)- The Fail To Win Podcast Episode 323
Home » Blog » 10 Lessons That Took Me 10 Years to Learn (And Could Save You a Decade)- The Fail To Win Podcast Episode 323

10 Lessons That Took Me 10 Years to Learn (And Could Save You a Decade)- The Fail To Win Podcast Episode 323

January 20, 2026 By fastforwardamy Leave a Comment

I almost can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm celebrating 10 years of entrepreneurship.
And here's the honest truth: I don't have everything figured out yet.

After more than a decade, multiple seven-figure years, thousands of clients, and a full-time team, I still haven't arrived at a place where everything suddenly feels easy or finished. I know, terrible for my authority to admit this. But I'm always still building. Always still learning.

What I do have is clarity. Clarity about what actually moves the needle and what doesn't. Clarity about the true cost of certain things you allow in your business and in your life. And clarity about the difference between building a successful business in the eyes of other people and building a life you actually enjoy living.

So today, I want to share 10 lessons that took me a decade to learn. These aren't about hustle or motivation or tactics. They're about the real lessons entrepreneurship teaches you over time. And if you can take them with you, they'll probably save you years.

listen to the full episode

Lesson 1: Consistency doesn't feel powerful. It feels lonely.

No one really prepares you for this part. After the newness wears off, people don't clap for you anymore. You have to show up when nobody reacts. You have to post when engagement is low. You have to sell when no one gives a fuck.

When that's happening, it doesn't feel like discipline.
It feels awkward.
Sometimes it feels completely pointless.

But here's what I learned: Every single meaningful breakthrough I've ever had came after really long stretches where nothing seemed to move. Being on the cover of Elle magazine. Getting podcast awards. Having really big launches. All of it came after periods where I felt like I was shouting into the void.

If you're in a phase where it feels like you're doing everything right but nothing is happening, you're not failing. You're building traction. It's just not visible yet.

Lesson 2: Confidence is built after action, not before it.

I spent years waiting to feel ready. Ready to record the video. Ready to speak up. Ready to claim my authority. Ready to stop second guessing myself.

But true confidence didn't come from thinking or planning. It came from repetition.

I still get nervous before recording podcasts. I still think, is this episode good enough? But confidence is just a different way of saying capability. And if you don't feel confident yet, it's probably not because you're incapable. It's because you haven't put in enough reps yet.

Do the uncomfortable thing again and again, until it stops feeling like a risk and you just do the thing. That's when you actually build confidence.

Lesson 3: Visibility isn't a personality trait. It's leadership your business needs.

Here's something that might blow your mind: I don't always feel like showing up online. Currently, I'm going through a phase where I'm really enjoying my life. My relationships, my house, my trips, my family. And I don't feel like broadcasting all of it.

Luckily, I've built systems that allow me to be visible without having to be visible in the moment itself.

For a long time, I thought visibility was optional. I'd create content when I felt inspired. And then sometimes I wouldn't. My motivation would go up and down.

Until I realized that the greats don't show up when they feel like it. They just show up.

I compare this to shop owners. Do you only open your shop when you feel great? No. You have opening hours. You just open the shop.

So visibility isn't about being loud or selfish. It's about being available for the business and the life you're building. Stop treating it like optional and accept that it's part of building a business.

Lesson 4: Money problems are often decision problems.

Whenever my revenue plateaued, it was rarely the market. It wasn't the timing. It wasn't the algorithm. It was me hesitating. Being too vanilla. Overthinking. Postponing decisions. Slowing down my momentum. Not choosing.

When you have indecision, you have no movement. When you have no movement, you have no momentum. When you have no momentum, you have no sales. Because success loves speed.

My income didn't grow when I worked harder. It grew when I decided faster and stood behind those decisions long enough.

Indecision doesn't feel dramatic, but it quietly drains momentum. So when you're encountering money problems, look at where you're staying undecided and where you're lacking speed.

Lesson 5: Doing everything yourself doesn't make you strong. It makes you trapped.

I used to see self-reliance as a strength. I'll just do it myself. It's faster if I do it. I don't want to depend on anyone.

But control didn't protect my business. It limited what it could do without me.

The moment I started learning to stop carrying everything alone, my energy came back. My business expanded. And my victim mindsets disappeared.

If you're overwhelmed, it's probably not because you're weak. It's because you've normalized carrying too much and not holding people accountable.

I had to learn this in business first. And now I'm learning it in my personal life too. Anytime I'm tempted to just do something myself, I ask: Am I willing to carry this forever?

If you don't want to be trapped doing everything yourself, you need to stop doing it and start empowering other people to do things for you.

Lesson 6: My nervous system wasn't broken. My business design was.

You can build a big business with a crappy nervous system. You can make a lot of money. But you'll burn out eventually and you won't be able to keep it up.

For me, I always worked out and ate healthy. But my business still demanded so much from me. And I realized it wasn't just my business. It was the design of my business.

The constant urgency. Always being reachable. Feeling like everything depended on me. Never really being off. My life started shrinking so the business could keep growing.

It wasn't a mindset thing. It wasn't that I wasn't resilient enough. It was a design issue. My business was designed in a way that was going to cost me joy.

So I started redesigning. Not launching when I'm on vacation. No same day turnaround times with my team. No meetings every single day. A coaching break week every month.

If you're feeling shattered from running your business, maybe you need to change your boundaries. Maybe you need to change the expectations. Not work on same day turnaround times. Maybe that can actually help you.

It's not just your nervous system. It's also your business design.

Lesson 7: Authority compounds faster than tactics.

Algorithms change. Trends come and go. Reels are hot, then carousels are hot, then something else.

But authority isn't about being impressive or trying the latest trend. It's about being clear enough and positioning yourself in a way that people trust you. And that trust compounds.

If you're currently trying to chase every new trend, stop. Authority will compound faster than tactics. You need to decide what you're showing up for. And then you need to do that consistently.

Lesson 8: Most people quit when it gets quiet, not when it gets hard.

The phase before momentum often feels repetitive, uneventful, and almost dull.

I've just had two years where I rebuilt a lot in my business. And a couple weeks ago, this tiny voice in my brain went, let's go and fuck shit up. And I was like, nope. Let's quiet that little voice.

Because being able to compound in the upcoming year from everything I've built, that's where it becomes really great.

I've had this with my podcast. Thinking no one is listening. Let's just stop. And then clients flood in and they all say they listened to that podcast episode. It felt like I was talking directly to them.

The phase before momentum is often where you get bored and you start thinking, should I change my product? Should I change my avatar? Should I get a new website?

No.

If it's feeling quiet right now but you're staying consistent, you're probably closer than you think. This is where most people stop. Don't stop.

Lesson 9: Complexity often hides avoidance.

Some of my biggest wins came from simplifying. Fewer offers. Clearer messaging. Repeating what already worked. The boring stuff.

Complexity looks sophisticated. But simplicity scales. Simple doesn't mean basic. It means sustainable.

If your business is starting to feel very complex, it's probably going to be harder to scale. Remember that simplicity scales.

Lesson 10: You don't just grow a business. You outgrow versions of yourself.

My business could only grow as much as I would grow. Every new level of my business required different boundaries, different standards, different leadership.

It doesn't mean the business needed more from me. But it needed something different from me.

You're not just building a business. You're building the version of yourself who can hold it without sacrificing the life you're building it for.

There's no point in building a business at the expense of the life you actually started the business for.

Are you ready to make this your richest year ever?

If you're at a point where you're thinking, I work too hard and care too much to not also get rich from what I do, I'm hosting my Get Rich Challenge.

We're going to look at how you can make this the richest year ever. And I mean rich in every possible meaning of the word. Rich in time. Rich in love. Rich in health. And yes, rich in money too.

Heads-up: I’m only offering this free series in Dutch for now! 

Join the Get Rich Challenge for free


Listen to the full episode for the complete story.

Filed Under: Blog, Business, Podcast Tagged With: BLOG, BUSINESS, podcast

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