About every three months, I enter this quarterly crisis of doubt.
I still struggle with fear of failure, not feeling ‘good enough', and imposter syndrome, but over time I've found a way to deal with these growing pains and stay confident.
In this article, I will help you get over those icky feelings and give you the tools that have helped me when dealing with self-doubt.
I wrote down these 6 tips to push you to regain your confidence and step back into your power as your business grows.
Tip #1 Stay focused on your gains
Whenever I feel like I suck and I want to quit, I always find comfort by telling myself: “This too shall pass.” And it will pass for you, too.
What especially has helped me beat my fear of failure and self-doubt is to think of my comfort zone as this circle around me.
Now, imagine that 50 to 100 meters further, there's a different circle and that is where the gains lie: this is where you want to go to grow.
Plot twist #1: Dodgeballs are coming at you from all sides as you're trying to reach the growth circle.
Plot twist #2: You're tied to your circle of comfort with a resistance band that pulls you back in.
The minute you get distracted and start to focus on the dodgeballs instead of the growth zone, you get pulled back into your comfort zone.
This is totally normal. You're not failing. You're growing.
And to grow and evolve, you need to stay focused on the end goal and move outside your current comfort zone with determination to reach the place where you can grow.
The more you focus on your goal, the less the dodgeballs hitting you will affect you. And when you're in the grow zone for a while, it will become your new normal—your new comfort zone.
RECAP: Never surrender to your comfort zone. Dodgeballs and growing pains will keep coming back to you as you expand your level of comfort, but know that all the feelings crushing you right now will pass. Remember to be KIND to yourself.
Tip #2 Choose abundance over scarcity
The moment you're about to quit, DON'T. The moment you tell yourself you can't do this, CONTINUE.
In these moments, your mindset is royally fucking you over because you're in a place of fear and scarcity.
To grow, you need to shift your mindset to abundance. This shift will help you dodge whatever balls are hitting you so you can get to the next circle with speed and determination.
I know it sounds abstract, but think of it like this: instead of looking at how hard things are, look at how much you can accomplish.
Yes, you could stay behind your computer, writing ebooks because it's comfortable, OR you could show up on video and speak to your audience in real life, making a much bigger impact.
What do you choose?
I see so many people act from scarcity
because something is easier,
or because something won't hurt as much.
Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from living in abundance. What are you telling yourself?
Are you saying I CAN or I CAN'T?
Are you saying I WANT TO QUIT or I BELIEVE I CAN GET THERE?
You've got to believe in what you're doing. You are worthy no matter what anyone says. So, dare to go all-in on yourself and be bigger. Don't let the scarcity infiltrate your brain and suck out the energy you need to really achieve your goals.
For example, look at any Formula 1 driver. Each of them envisioned themselves racing, and winning. They all believed they would get there despite getting hit in the face and being pushed back into their comfort zone. They stayed focused on winning.
REMEMBER: When you play to win, you'll still fail, but it's not a bad thing because you'll learn. Think of all your failures as a test to try out different things and as part of your path to winning. You're allowed to grow and get better at what you're doing. That's what evolving is about!
Are you sometimes struggling to know what needs your precious time and energy first? Well, I've got something for you: the growth quiz.
I developed this quiz so you can discover which part of your business needs to be worked on first, and to give you the tools, tips and tricks to start working right away!
Take the quiz for free through www.fastforwardamy.com/growthquiz
Tip #3 Recognize your privilege
When things get hard, and shit hits the fan, take a moment to recognize your privilege. For instance, instead of thinking
“I have to do this; it's so hard”
Rephrase your self-talk and think
“I get to do this,” or “I get to try this.”
No one is making you do things you don't want to; you get to choose.
A few days ago, I was looking for accommodation for an upcoming ski holiday, and I really suck at these things, to be honest.
But rather than spiraling into negativity, it got me thinking: “I'm so grateful I get to go on a vacation with my friends.”
You can turn your self-talk around when it comes to your business, too. Example:
I get to ask for feedback.
I get to try to work with someone else.
I get to figure out how to create an amazing experience for my client.
Tip #4 Know you always have other options (YAHOO)
This isn't Indiana Jones gone wild. This is me telling you you always have other options (YAHOO).
YAHOO means you can always change your course of action. If you're unhappy with a decision you've made, no one is holding you back to make a change.
The cards are in your hands.
It could also be that you get too uncomfortable with the speed you're growing at. If that's the case, take a step back. (I don't want the dodgeballs killing you!). In the end, you'll figure it out down the road.
Tip #5 Normalize what you're going through
Growing pains are SUPER normal, and instead of getting all worked up about feeling like a total failure, try to normalize what you're going through.
Anytime I'm at the most extreme level of suckiness, I think to myself:
“Oh wait, this is normal.”
Either I'm about to get my period or it's the quarterly crisis of doubt that's returning.
Whatever you're going through right now, I can tell you with 100% certainty that other entrepreneurs have been where you're at right now (if they tell you otherwise, they are lying, lol).
I've been where you're at. I'm not fearless, I'm not perfect, but I continue to work on my mindset.
Self-work is a constant throughout your life. You will never be done, so take it with you rather than resisting it.
Tip #6 Focus on the positive and your impact
Wherever you're at in life or business, focus on the impact you get to make. Again, focus on the abundance.
I know it's hard – no one said it was going to be easy.
Think of Beyonce's or the Kardashian's path to success. They kept focusing on the positive and shielded themselves from things they didn't want to see.
You can do the same.
Don't focus on a negative review.
Don't focus on that one negative client.
Don't focus on that one bad experience you had.
Focus on the IMPACT you can make, focus on all the JOY and POSITIVITY you can create. You've got the power inside of you!
I truly hope that these 6 tips were motivating for you and that you'll give them a go. I've included a quick recap of all the tips right here, so you can screenshot this article and bring these tips along the next time you feel caught in a game of dodgeball.
Tip #1 Stay focused on your gains
Tip #2 Choose abundance over scarcity
Tip #3 Recognize your privilege
Tip #4 Know you always have other options (YAHOO)
Tip #5 Normalize what you're going through
Tip #6 Focus on the positive and your impact
Watch this episode on YouTube, or listen via iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and search for episode 102 of The FastForwardAmy Show.
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