I had just made $14,000 in one hour. Then I broke down almost crying at a restaurant in LA.
This isn't a story about burnout. This is a story about what actually happens when you're a high achiever scaling your business. And if you're the woman who's crushing it on paper but feeling unseen, overwhelmed, and exhausted behind the scenes, you need to hear this.
The reality nobody talks about
I wrapped up my launch. The last hour brought in about $14K in sales. It was one of those moments where you think, “Yes, I knew it. Trust the process because people always buy at the end.”
I went to my favorite lunch spot near the hotel to celebrate. Then something happened. My mood completely dropped. Jonathan said something that triggered me, and I reacted poorly. I could feel my entire emotional state shifting, and I knew exactly what it was: a cortisol crash.
After days of high stress (jetlag, team member in hospital, my launch manager on vacation, doing more than normal myself, hiring and interviewing new people, running on minimal sleep), my nervous system finally hit its limit. The adrenaline stopped. The cortisol crashed. And everything I'd been holding together came rushing to the surface.
The loneliness at the top
Here's what came up in that breakdown: I really wanted someone to clap for me.
I wanted recognition for how hard I've been working. The early-morning calls with Belgium while I'm in LA. The client panics I'm managing. The emotional labor of supporting everyone. The financial pressure of making sure every single paycheck ever goes out on time.
And I realized something: nobody will ever fully know how hard I'm actually working.
Not my team. Not my friends. Not even Jonathan, who sees more than anyone. Because the higher you go, the less people understand what you're actually doing behind the scenes.
And the truth is, no one needs to see it either.
The high achiever's dilemma
If you're anything like me (lots of red and yellow in your personality profile, driven, target-oriented, doesn't want to fail, people person craving recognition), you probably recognize this feeling:
When you're crushing it at work, you feel like a terrible friend. When you're being a great friend, you feel like a shitty business owner. When you're winning on one end, it always feels like you're losing at something else.
You're carrying so much that nobody sees. Maybe it's:
- A team member you're supporting through something difficult
- A client who's freaking out about their results
- A financial situation like a tax audit or an expensive manufacturing mistake
- The mental load of managing everyone's emotions while holding your own together
- The pressure of keeping everything running smoothly while looking calm on the outside
Without knowing it, you're waiting for someone to recognize it. You're waiting for applause. You're waiting for someone to see how hard you're working.
But that applause isn't coming.
What you're actually craving
After I cried (yes, I’ve learned to never keep it in and just let it out), I realized something important: what I'm craving from other people is exactly what I need to give myself.
Do I want Jonathan to pat me on the back more? Or do I need to celebrate my own wins?
Am I too strong and carrying everything alone? Or do I need to lean into my own softness more? Say no to another event? Put on softer clothes? Choose a gentle walk over pushing through a workout?
The truth is, the higher you climb, the more you're going to have to clap for yourself. And I know that's not the most fun thing to hear. But it's reality.
You can have amazing friends. You can have a supportive partner. You can have a great team. And still, nobody will ever fully understand the weight you're carrying as a business owner.
How to actually support yourself
So what do we do with this information?
We stop waiting for external validation. We start giving ourselves what we need:
Recognition: Celebrate your wins out loud. Journal about what you accomplished. Take yourself on a date. Give yourself credit for never missing a paycheck, for showing up when things were hard, for keeping everything running.
Softness: You don't always need to push through. Sometimes you need a slower morning. Sometimes you need to say no to another event. Sometimes you need to choose rest over productivity.
Grace: You're doing so much more than anyone realizes. You're allowed to feel overwhelmed. You're allowed to have rest after a launch. You're allowed to cry at a restaurant.
The thing that makes you good at your job (being driven, target-oriented, always pushing for more) is also what can overwhelm you. Learning to balance that with softness isn't weakness. It's sustainability.
You're doing better than you think
If you're feeling alone today, I want you to know: you're doing so much better than you think you are.
Nobody sees the full picture of what you're managing. And that's okay. You don't need them to. But you do need to see yourself. You do need to recognize your own efforts. You do need to give yourself the applause you're craving from others.
Because once you start flying high, everyone will assume you already know how amazing you are. They'll assume you don't need the recognition anymore. But that's exactly when you need to double down on celebrating yourself.
Listen to the full episode for the raw, unfiltered version of this mini breakdown and what I learned from it.
PS If you’re currently feeling overwhelmed: I highly recommend getting a good PA who can take stuff off your plate both businesswise as well as personally. From booking flights to ordering groceries and managing your inbox, having someone take stuff off your plate is a game changer.
Download my own vacancy + job description to find your own killer PA here: fastforwardamy.com/assistant
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