Let’s talk about comparison, that little thing that everyone experiences, and pretty much no one likes to talk about.
When I was first starting out online and building my business a few years ago, I was following Marie Forleo’s B-School. I was constantly comparing myself to her and thought that every programme I put out and everything I created had to be as amazing as her B-School.
She looks amazing.
Her videos are amazing.
The platform is amazing.
Her branding is amazing.
AHHH Everything is amazing.
Recognize these feelings?
Eventually I realised I don’t need a business like hers: she has a team, funds, and years of experience.
It’s totally ridiculous to compare my journey to hers because I’m at a different chapter in my book.
Maybe you're also interested in this article: “Learn How to Say No Without Being a Bitch“
After speaking to clients recently, it feels like everyone is struggling with comparison at the moment.
A lot of people are getting used to the new norm of lockdown and starting to put pressure on ourselves again.
You thought lockdown meant time to chill, right?
Social media BLEW UP with all things efficiency, self development, productivity… and precisely zero chill.
It’s tempting to start looking again at what other people are doing, but it’s a dangerous trap to fall into. Have high expectations of yourselves, sure, but don’t compare.
Constantly comparing yourself to other people is poison for your brain and your soul.
NOTHING positive comes from it, okay?
There’s one time you can compare yourself to others, and that’s when it’s to learn something.
Get inspired by others all you like, but don’t start comparing yourself directly.
She has a 10k launch, so I need one too.
She has 20k followers, why don’t I?
She sold out all her programs, but I didn’t.
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I fully believe that if you are struggling immensely with comparing yourself with other people, you have an issue: you are not grounded enough, you are not confident enough.
If you’re feeling insecure – which, by the way, we all do sometimes – and are confronted with people who are doing better than you, you’re going to want to cry and throw yourself a pity party.
That’s kind of like when you’re an emotional eater and have all these snacks in your house and try to resist them. It makes sense to just delete them from the house: that’s what you need to do with your comparison thing.
Mute them, stop listening to them, stop watching what they’re doing. Stop looking at people who make you insecure.
Just focus on your clients. When you focus enough on your clients, you can start fixing problems and make progress.
You can mute people’s feeds and stories. Why not even unfollow them? You may like and respect what they are doing but it just brings out your worst side or making you insecure.
That’s like still having an ex-boyfriend who broke your heart on FB. You could be crushing it today but are then confronted with his engagement announcement on your feed. No, you need to blacklist them so they don’t pop up on your feed.
That’s what you can do with your insecurities and people who make you insecure.
The only reason that I’m still this positive in lockdown is because I’m focused on my work and clients, instead of comparing myself to other coaches. That’s where I have ownership and what I have control over.
What can YOU control?
What I can’t control is what other people are doing. If someone is better than me I can’t control that.
Yesterday I was playing Mario Kart with my boyfriend and he beat me in the first of four rounds. I was like, I can’t control how well he’s driving but I can control how well Princess Peach is driving.
All moms struggle with comparing themselves to other moms. Non-working moms are like I should be working. Working moms are like I should spend more time with my kids. So we all end up feeling guilty and guilt is like shame. And shame sucks. Shame and fear are terrible feelings to have but they get better once you recognise your feelings.
In personal life, also only focus on your own relationship.
Muting all those different coaches was a big turning point for me. I still really respect them, but they make me jealous, envious and insecure.
And when I see them going at it, I lose my own path. True authenticity and a true difference in your marketing arises when you are your authentic self.
Let’s talk copycats.
They suck, they’re the worst.
I know in some way it’s a compliment but it’s also annoying. I deal with them by being better and keep improving. Yes that puts pressure on me, but can’t help it. Just stay in your own damn lane!
I literally give away everything I know but I’ll learn something new each day.
My mastermind group receives the benefit of all my knowledge: they can grow 100x faster than I can grow because I learned everything through 17 years business experience and they get everything from me from my courses and mastermind. I might have learned something by paying $25000, and I give it to them.
They can do better than I do and if they start a coaching business, they have the knowledge I shared with them but they don’t have my growth that will always beat other people as long as I keep growing.
Comparison is also a topic I’ve talked about with my dad.
He doesn’t compare himself to other people but he acknowledges that social media isn’t helpful: it makes you only see the good things about what others do. My dad’s advice? Keep yourself busy enough not to think about what others are doing. If you have your own goals and objectives, you don’t need to worry about what others are doing.
Stress is also something that you can CHOOSE to see as a challenge or a threat. In the past, when I used to see other coaches doing something, I thought then I can’t do it. Now, I see it as if she can do it, I can do it too.
It’s fuel for me.
It’s proof it can be done.
Wanna be successful?
Then stop with the comparison.
Comparison is just a waste of energy.
It’s all about self-talk. Get that person out of your vocabulary, stop naming them. All that attention you’re focusing on other people, if you spent that on your clients and business, what could you achieve?
My dad also suggests thinking about what you’re actually focusing on.
Is it the past or the future? And if you compare yourself to someone are you comparing yourself to the results that person has achieved?
Look, it’s the best time to start a business right now.
Sure, there’s a ton of people out there doing the same thing.
But no one can replace YOU.
You’ve got this.
This week’s podcast episode is all about comparison.
You can find it at https://www.fastforwardamy.com/podcastplatform
Do you want more business tips and tricks from me? I’ve created my BUSINESS BIBLE that will help you boost your biz and your life.
Find it at: https://www.fastforwardamy.com/businessbible
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