Strong, sexy, smart — as women, we often feel we have to be all of these things. Owning a business can take a lot of energy, so how do you involve your partner in your growth process, and truly be yourself? In this episode #148 of The FastForwardAmy Show, Amy shares some tips to help you find the relationship that works with your business.
You’re ambitious, successful, and financially independent. How do you date men and not intimidate them?
There are men out there that won’t be intimidated. At the end of the day, it is about respect. You don’t have to be weaker than a man, and you can still appreciate masculinity.
If you have the mindset that men are going to find you intimidating, then you will attract men that do. Stop thinking about them and what they think — start thinking about what you want to attract. Most importantly, avoid man-hating mode.
Although it can feel easy to give up, the person for you is out there and they can work with your lifestyle as a business owner. It is all about knowing what you are looking for and feeling confident in finding it.
In this week’s episode, I share advice on how to find a relationship that helps you grow — from a personal and a business perspective.
Believe the relationship you want is possible
I know it’s scary to put yourself out there. It’s easy to feel like it’s not going to work out if it hasn’t been easy before. I am here to tell you there is someone out there who will cherish you just the way you are.
I have seen it and I know it is possible — a lot of my friends have really great relationships that I can appreciate, and that really inspires me.
Just like you have to believe you’re going to sell something to actually sell it, you have to believe the relationship you want is possible to find it.
So, where do I meet people?
Personally, I’m tired of Tinder. I’m tired of dating apps. So, I constantly cowork in public places, I join events, clubs, whatever I need to do to put myself out there. I tell my friends I’m open to dating and when they meet someone they think I’d like, they set me up with them.
I’m not saying no to dating apps. I’m saying be in alignment with yourself and start being open.
I keep putting it out there because I want to attract it. I wasn’t necessarily actively looking, but just like with money, I put out the energy I want to attract.
Understanding what you want versus what you think you want
Feeling safe doesn’t always mean you need to be with a bodybuilder. Maybe you need someone that makes you feel safe, emotionally.
After my last relationship, my coach told me to make a list of what I do want and what I don’t want. I thought about my previous relationship and I made this list, and started to look for someone who fit into the new list of what I realized I want.
Every time you meet someone new, you find pieces that fit you and you find pieces that don’t fit you. You also realize the areas that you are willing to compromise in.
You have to start figuring out what is important to you — what do you want and need. Then, don’t be afraid to try a few times before finding the right person.
Be yourself and know what works for you
Figure out what really works for you and then find someone who keeps that energy in balance. Ask yourself, when are you doing things from who you are versus doing things because you’re making up for something or you’re stressed out?
You don’t have to try and be what you think a woman should be. If you’ve had a long day, it’s ok to say that and to show how you really feel.
When you’re dating, never pretend to be someone you’re not. You will end up having to act that way for 3, or 6 months. Ladies, you’re allowed to be confident.
Don’t walk into a date and start listing your bad traits. Be confident. Take initiative. If you want to hold their hand, hold their hand. You can take the initiative, and then it’s about whether they continue it or not. When he likes you, he won’t make you doubt it.
We all have our own trauma and insecurities. Even though I have been so successful, I definitely have mine. Even in relationships, I often asked myself — does he really like me?
I decided to stop asking myself that. The main question to ask is not if he likes you, but whether you like him. Remember, you can love yourself and give yourself attention too.
Don’t let your business suffer
It’s ok to feel lonely, or not feel great in your body, but you can always focus on your business and your passion. Your finances, your business, they don’t need to suffer because you are not dating someone.
They also don’t need to suffer when you are dating someone. If you are dating someone with the same vision and values as you, then how much you work or how hard you work will never be a problem.
At FastForwardAmy, we want to help people live their best life within their business and beyond. That’s why I’m launching the Business Freedom Elevator™ – my 6-month business coaching program for anyone who wants to be financial independent and work according to their own passion and rhythm – until September 30th!
For more advice on how to date as an ambitious woman and business owner, listen to the rest of the episode here.
I have summarized my dating advice here, so you can easily remember how to be confident in getting the relationship you want:
- Be yourself and don’t try to be who you think you should be
- Get out there!
- Figure out what you really want and then attract that
- Be confident, be non-negotiable, and be open
- Stay aligned with yourself and what your business needs
- Believe it’s possible
PS: If you want to work with me but aren’t sure where to begin, head to fastforwardamy.com/findyourfit and answer the questions — we’ll point you in the right direction!